Category: Let's talk
Ok its inevitable that in our daily lives we will meet some right numpties,but earlier today,Stevie and I met one who not only took the biscuit, but would probably have got away with the whole feckin tin...he had persuaded me to go around town "to get out of the damned house",we were getting on a train and this woman said to Stevie in a very patronising tone "how clever he was finding a space on his own and how he was really amazing to do it without the help of his dog"..I was with Scott..your man was wearing dark sunglasses due to being hungover..so you can guess what she was hinting at..for the 1st time in ages I laughed and he said "I've been practising for years pal its no problem at all ,Al pass me that metal magazine will you" she was stunned and asked me why I was letting him talk to her like that I replied "who do you think I am his carer" to which she retorted YES!..we had a very stimulating conversation concerning the dangers of allowing certain people out unaccompanied and should we alert the local care homes,to see if any of their punters are missing..So after that preamble have you ever had any similar experiences and how did you handle the stupidity...
Yes, Scott and I were in Sams club, a big warehouse stor, and this woman comes up and asks Scott how much vision have I lost. I'm standing right there. Scott just kind of looks scared because he knows how I am. I turn to her and tell her I've lost a lot, but none of my hearing. Believe it or not, it went right over her head. She continued to talk to Scott and tell him how she was a retired nurse and how her husband had gone blind. Man, I bet she was a lousy nurse, I don't think she was all there mentally.
Carla
at school a few weeks ago, i was walking in the hallway, and someone bumped into me. then i heard someone say, "watch out for the blind girl", then someone replied, "shes blind, but shes not deaf". i thought that was sooo funny *giggles*
Thank you both I wonder why they assumed you were deaf or unable to speak up that aspect has always fascinated me...
Back in the boarding-school days, I used to spend most weekends with my Grandma, since she was my only relative in the city. We got a fiew variations on the patronising. If there was a cane visible, we'd occasionally get people asking her about me/what I'd like to eat etc, assuming she was my carer. More often though, we'd just be walking along arm in arm and it would be assumed I was her carer. I've had people on busses ask me if she'd like a seat and so on. We always had a good giggle about it.
I have experienced people behaving patronisingly towards me and I wreckon most blind people have, but It doesn't bother me if they talk to who ever is with me instead of me or if they praise me for doing things they wouldn't expect me to do because well, they are behaving like that because they don't have much experience of been around blind people and therefore don't have much understanding of blind people. However, They don't mean to offend people, so I know not to be stupid enough to take offense and I don't treat these situations with too much sensitivity.
I think it's a lack of common sense and common curtisy. People feel like they can say anything to anyone these days. Just look at how folks drive, a total lack of common sense and courtisy. Some people don't mean anything and that's fine and then there are those that are just plain rude, reguardless of how many disabled people thy've been around They don't care who they might offend or hurt, whether it be overweight, race, or just that they don't care for the way they look. I can say this,my sister is one of those kind of people, she can be a real bitch and she feels she is entitled to speak her mind no matter what. Needless to say, she and I don't have a great relationship, come to thin of it, she doesn't have a healthy relationship with anyone..
I loved these responses Resonant I've have that happen many times and often I've wished for a video camera, to record these eejits in action..
Wangel your right but man come on didn't you ever speak up for yourself, if no one bothers to educate these people nothing will change ..
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Texas your sister sounds like a nightmare,but your last few lines did put a smile on my face...the woman we encountered wasn't rude as such, just thoughtless...I think many of these people,are uncomfortable around us so they hide that by being hostile..mind you I have a few stories concerning your man that would make your hair stand up...
I don't think most folks who never met a blind or disabled person go out of their way to offend or harrass. People probably get all caught up in the uneasiness of not knowing how to act in the situation or their own emotional reaction to disability in general, and all logic and common sense is shut down by the flood of emotion. So people say the first thing that comes to their mind but aren't really thinking about it because they're too nervous or awkward to care. Political correctness doesn't seem to help either. But I do agree that even if you don't get upset by their behavior, silence is acceptance, so by not saying anything, you're telling them their behavior is perfectly OK and it's what you want.
labyrinth you're right we have to educate people that the disabled are not all helpless. I agree, I think often it's just ignorance, and that people just don't know how to react that causes them to react the way they do. But I think there are ways of dealing with it. if for example we're rude back, what kind of image does that give? after all, if that person thinks the disabled are helpless, then they'll also think the disabled are rude and obnoxious as well. there is a famous blind woman who travels the underground in London. For those of you who have travelled on the underground during peak times, you will know that it is always jam packed and unless you get on at the beginning of the line you are unlikely to get a seat. well this woman has earned herself quite a reputation, as, often people will offer her a seat, as people sometimes do for someone they think maybe needs it more than they do, she will respond by saying "it's my f*cking eyes that don't work, not my f*cking legs" ... and sadly for someone who might not have much experience of dealing with the blind, if that's the kind of response they get, they might think twice about being courteous in the future.
I use a lot of humor, I think it's puts people at ease. I also tell them to ask me if they want to know. I've even handed my cane to a few so they can hold it, it kind of breaks the ice for them.
Church is the worst place for all of that. Whoo! I became absolutely livid when a woman that I had just spent two weeks with in Israel said, "I don't think you should travel without your parents." Oh My! I was mad. These people are just ...... I can't say out loud.
I have come across a few obnoxious blind people in my time..there is 1 women who lives up the road from us..she will NOT accept help from Ardeth, Ally, or any of our friends, no matter how often they have offered she looks at them as if they are incapable and stupid...I dread to think of the impression she leaves behind her
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Mostly we find most people are interested and awkward, they want to help but fear making a mistake that may endanger me...Humour is always a good idea if possible we laugh it off and end up chatting away with the person and in spite of what I've said here Glaswegians are friendly and curious...especially children who are blatant and think nothing of asking "how did you get like that?" I have invented several colourful explanations over the years...
while browsing thru the net a few weeks ago, I came across courses in England on disability awareness which sound ideal, but I wonder how many people actually sign up for them,do they spend ages convincing themselves,or jump right in with boundless enthusiasm, somehow I doubt it...
I have to agree with Sugababy about this issue, if you feel you are been given too much help, then maybe the way to stop them is by telling them you are o.k and you don't need any help in a polite way. If you're rude towards them or display towards them a sarcastic attitude and they don't have much experience of visually impaired people, then you could leave them with a bad impression. Some visually impaired people need more help than others and it's them who could suffer if the same person won't help them for fear of been responded to rudely.
I agree.